Some distraught lady started making a ruckus in the town square yesterday morning. From the window of my shop I could see her begging at the feet of a dwarf, one of the Delvers. I had never bothered to find out his name up to that point, but I had seen him once or twice in the town. At least I think it was him. That aside, I had a feeling something big was going to go down today, so clearly I would need a good, healthy breakfast to keep up my strength and mental vigor.
Normally I would have expected to come across the lady and the Delver while out shopping, but I was moving at an unusually slow pace this morning. It took no less than ten minutes to lock my front door. Ten minutes! I may have to research some sort of spell to cure myself if this keeps up. But I was able to purchase some apples, eggs, and bread for a delicious breakfast that would prove to be very crucial. I also had some items for lunch later in the day.
Forrest, the odd fellow who rents out a space in my shop to sell his bows – well, bow – demanded that I come with him to rescue some child. Specifically, it was the distraught woman’s daughter that had been kidnapped. I asked about the payment, and he told me there would be none, and reminded me that there was a little girl being held captive somewhere.
Pretending I expected payment, I went along with him and a hoard of others that seemed hell-bent on rescuing this child. There were quite a few, so I will attempt to name and describe each of them, though I would prefer not to waste my mind on such trivial matters when I’ve research to do.
There was a stout, bearded fellow named Levrim. He had several flasks and a plethora of chemicals. I suspect he could make a mean milkshake if someone requested it.
There was one of the Delvers. That sort of describes him perfectly, actually; no more needs to be said. But his name was Kenshin.
There was a blue gnome. I’m not sure I want to know why his skin is blue. His name is Theoro, and I believe his favorite pass-time is talking too much.
There was the dwarf that I mentioned earlier. Telerden is his name, not that it matters.
There was the bartender from the Regal Gnome, Arwen. I’ve met him a few times, but never bothered to chat with him. He does, however, know that I only drink virgin daiquiris when I go to the tavern – which isn’t very often.
There was yet another Delver named Raniel. I swear, there’s too many of these things.
There was a woman who had only just arrived in town. Her name, as I recall, was Celine. She had a supernatural grace when she walked. I’m surprised she didn’t need to rest after a day of travelling.
There was a summoner with us. His name was Kestren, and his eidolon, a very muscular woman, was named Kasana. I’m not sure I want to know the entire story behind that.
There was a Halfling with a crossbow. His name is Arthur. If the crossbow has a name, I have not yet heard it.
There was Forrest, the annoying renter.
There then there was also a crazy lady who looks to be able to punch a man’s head off his shoulders. SooYoung, I think her name was. I don’t think she’s from around here, either.
And of course I was there. Hence I’m writing all this.
We followed Forrest and Arthur, who were quite skilled at finding the tracks left by captors of the little girl. Night eventually came, but we continued onward, being that time was of the essence. A scout party went on ahead and found the lair of some kobolds, which, as it turns out, were the kidnappers we were searching for. They dispatched them easily, but the ones inside saw. A few of us rushed in immediately, myself included, though I didn’t rush so far in that I could be surrounded. I’m a bit too intelligent to make such a stupid move. That can’t be said of everyone that was in the band, apparently, because Raniel charged for the leader without any regard for his safety. Some may call that bravery, but I think the more appropriate term is foolishness. Or perhaps suicide. Annoying is another word that comes to mind. I could go on.
I conjured a horse to have it assist the idiot of the group, while the rest of us tried to hold back a heavy onslaught of kobolds. Forrest, Arwen, and Arthur used their bows and crossbow to dispatch what looked to be the priests of their tiny army. SooYoung rushed in and punched things. I’m guessing she’s new to the concept of technology. We’ll have to introduce her slowly, perhaps starting with the wheel and eventually explaining fire. Bless her heart.
Theoro was quite useful, using magic to put several of them to sleep. His timing couldn’t have been better, as Levrim, the fellow with the chemicals, had just been forced down to the ground by one of the kobold priests. That almost sounded like he was about to be raped… which, in a way of speaking, might have been the case. Just not raped in the traditional sense, more in the sense of several spears and/or swords would have been creating new holes in his body. But, despite him being somewhat out of the fight at that point, I think he had already done his part by showering us with some chemical that was intended to make us better in a fight. I’m a little worried that these odd liquids of his are actually horse piss or monkey vomit.
There were no children in this room, however, and I could see a room further down in the cave. Fearing that something unfortunate would be happening in the near future, I ran through an opening made by SooYoung and rushed toward the back. It was around this time that the kobolds we had been fighting finally surrendered. Those in the next room also surrendered, and Raniel and I immediately began releasing the children from their cages. Had we been any later, the one on the altar would have probably been killed already.
The kobolds insisted that they were doing this for Tetri, prophesied our doom, stank up the room with their disgusting, reptilian bodies, shamed sentient life around the planet with their lack of intelligence, etc. I look forward to the day of their execution. Though, I will mention that if it is true that it was for Tetri, Demivra may be partly to blame – not that she could have foreseen such a ridiculous cult.
There was an obelisk in the room, which Theoro tried to identify with magic. He fell
unconscious. Arwen touched the obelisk and apparently saw some strange writing. I touched it so as to translate. He shortly thereafter fell unconscious. I did not fall unconscious, because I am not a pansy. He apparently had a nice conversation with a dragon named Sarah. Did I mention he works at a bar selling the most intoxicating drinks known to man?
Greg had to exclaim his disappointment that I was rescuing children. I imagine there are several reasons that he failed to become a lich, but this is one of many times that I am reminded that lack of vision is one of them.
We didn’t get paid, unsurprisingly. Well, not at first. Somehow, however, we all ended up as mercenaries with the Delvers, which was quite irregular. Even more irregular, however, was that we were given more assignments to fulfill. Furthermore, we have been divided into two teams, each team pursuing different jobs. I am with Telerden, Arwen, Forrest, Arthur, and SooYoung.
I’ll take a moment to mention some observations. First, these people were all able to go with the scout team because they were quite capable of sneaking around. I am a blatant exception, thereby ruining any chance they had of performing stealth missions. Second, all of them have obviously been trained to fight – or at the very least, have had some sort of practice. Telerden was already a Delver, so I don’t even have to mention his several weapons and that I did see him use them a bit. Arwen is one of few people left that is still skilled with a bow, and he can shoot that bow of his with uncanny speed and accuracy. Forrest isn’t as quick as Arwen, but has the deadlier shot of the two. Arthur uses a crossbow. SooYoung, though not well-versed in modern developments from the last year or two or three or one thousand, knows how to take things out of the action. I am an academic. I do research. The other group is apparently off on, essentially, a research mission; a mission where intelligence is key. I am probably the least combat-trained of the twelve of us there were. Theoro and Levrim are the only others that might be similarly inexperienced, though I can’t be certain. I am also one of the few that is well-adjusted to research, and have frequently spent hours on end researching one topic. Of the people I met, Levrim is the only other who might be so keen on research, though he would probably research stuff more in line with his field. So rather than do what I’m good at, I will be with the group that fights hobgoblins, and I’ll probably get in the way. I can’t help but doubt the competence of the person that divided us in this manner. Perhaps there is method behind the madness… or perhaps I’m just not matched up very well with the others in my team.